Movement and Surrender
Today was a good day. Actually, this was a good weekend. Friday night I spent with my sweet and enjoyed some very nice oloroso. Saturday I relaxed a bit, did a ton of cleaning and straightnening, did some shopping, cleaned out and vacuumed my car, and hung out with a lifelong friend in the evening. We listened to music and talked about getting old. I finished my Balvenie Doublewood, which is unfortunate because it's some of the tasiest scotch I've ever enjoyed. I'm trying some less expensive scotch now: Bowmore Legend, which has a fascinating mix of flavors, including peat, smoke, oak, and something salty like seaweed. It has a slightly medicinal finish, which I'm not crazy about (reminds me of Numzit), but I love the peatiness, and it's certainly a steal for half the price of the Balvenie. I think I'm going to ask people to get me scotch for my birthday and Christmas this year. I love the stuff, and I'm actually drinking less than I used to before I re-discovered my love for hard liquor.
I'ts been ten years since I damaged myself. I thought that I'd never be able to enjoy whisky, gin, brandy, or vodka again. Ever since that ill-fated night in Ocean City MD I've been afflicted with a visceral revulsion to anything over 50 proof. But this past January, with a little help from my friend who introduced me to Johnnie Walker (Blue Label -- yum), I discovered that I could once again drink and enjoy good whisky. Thank you, Lord: I am healed. That's not sarcastic. I'm earnestly grateful, and I won't make that same mistake again. I'm well aware that I'm not invincible, and I will keep the alcohol consumption to a reasonable level. So far I've had Johnnie Walker (blend), Aberlour, Dalmore, and Balvenie (all single Highland malts), and now the Bowmore (single Islay Malt). Next time, unless I come into some money, I think it will be Johnnie Walker Black Label. If I do come into some money, it will be Johnnie Walker Green Label or Glenmorangie (another single Highland malt). There are some other Islay and Speyside malts I'd like to try that have a lot of character, but they're all pretty expensive. I think I need to find something cheap to keep on hand to enjoy without financial guilt, however.
So, back to today... Today was church, and I'm glad that I went. During Sunday services, I am often filled with a spirit of repentence, contrition, and need. There is always joy -- sometimes more joy than I can handle. Today I was given the spirit of decisiveness. When one of the ministers gave a call to receive prayer after worship, he said, "If you have been feeling like you have not found a place in the church, come and receive prayer for the Lord's guidance that the Lord will lead you to a church, this one or another, where your gifts can be used and where you can be fruitful." I felt like it was simple obedience to come forward. I went and received prayer, and was told that I need to look to my own abilities and ideas rather than other people's ideas about me in order to find my place in the body of Christ. This is similar to words I've heard from others over the course of the past month or so. I will prayerfully consider this and seek the Lord's guidance through scripture.
The message was about baptism. This topic is difficult for me. I grew up in the reformed faith. I believe that, in some ways, covenantal theology is hardwired into the synapses of my brain. I have never given up the belief that baptism is a sign of the covenant between God and man, and not a sign of salvation or a means of salvation. This covenant relationship is between God and families. This is why there are biblical cases of entire families being baptized. Children who are not able to make a faith decision are nonetheless part of God's covenant with them. This is all very rational and logical. It's systematic. It's virtually bulletproof.
God is no bullet. God is more powerful, more wise, and can pierce me more deeply than any bullet of reason. Am I a double-minded man who is not sure of what he believes? No. This is what I believe: I believe in Christ and him resurrected. I believe that I need to submit myself and my life to God fully. I feel agreement in my spirit with the Holy Spirit that I should be baptized as an adult, as a sign of my repentence, my death to sin, and my new life in Christ. Logic? The wisdom of men is foolishness to God. I believe very strongly that God wants me to be baptized. I am excited abou this decision. I will be baptized next Sunday.
So begins another week. Things are changing with the business. Things are changing in my life. I feel profoundly grateful and excited to be alive.
I'ts been ten years since I damaged myself. I thought that I'd never be able to enjoy whisky, gin, brandy, or vodka again. Ever since that ill-fated night in Ocean City MD I've been afflicted with a visceral revulsion to anything over 50 proof. But this past January, with a little help from my friend who introduced me to Johnnie Walker (Blue Label -- yum), I discovered that I could once again drink and enjoy good whisky. Thank you, Lord: I am healed. That's not sarcastic. I'm earnestly grateful, and I won't make that same mistake again. I'm well aware that I'm not invincible, and I will keep the alcohol consumption to a reasonable level. So far I've had Johnnie Walker (blend), Aberlour, Dalmore, and Balvenie (all single Highland malts), and now the Bowmore (single Islay Malt). Next time, unless I come into some money, I think it will be Johnnie Walker Black Label. If I do come into some money, it will be Johnnie Walker Green Label or Glenmorangie (another single Highland malt). There are some other Islay and Speyside malts I'd like to try that have a lot of character, but they're all pretty expensive. I think I need to find something cheap to keep on hand to enjoy without financial guilt, however.
So, back to today... Today was church, and I'm glad that I went. During Sunday services, I am often filled with a spirit of repentence, contrition, and need. There is always joy -- sometimes more joy than I can handle. Today I was given the spirit of decisiveness. When one of the ministers gave a call to receive prayer after worship, he said, "If you have been feeling like you have not found a place in the church, come and receive prayer for the Lord's guidance that the Lord will lead you to a church, this one or another, where your gifts can be used and where you can be fruitful." I felt like it was simple obedience to come forward. I went and received prayer, and was told that I need to look to my own abilities and ideas rather than other people's ideas about me in order to find my place in the body of Christ. This is similar to words I've heard from others over the course of the past month or so. I will prayerfully consider this and seek the Lord's guidance through scripture.
The message was about baptism. This topic is difficult for me. I grew up in the reformed faith. I believe that, in some ways, covenantal theology is hardwired into the synapses of my brain. I have never given up the belief that baptism is a sign of the covenant between God and man, and not a sign of salvation or a means of salvation. This covenant relationship is between God and families. This is why there are biblical cases of entire families being baptized. Children who are not able to make a faith decision are nonetheless part of God's covenant with them. This is all very rational and logical. It's systematic. It's virtually bulletproof.
God is no bullet. God is more powerful, more wise, and can pierce me more deeply than any bullet of reason. Am I a double-minded man who is not sure of what he believes? No. This is what I believe: I believe in Christ and him resurrected. I believe that I need to submit myself and my life to God fully. I feel agreement in my spirit with the Holy Spirit that I should be baptized as an adult, as a sign of my repentence, my death to sin, and my new life in Christ. Logic? The wisdom of men is foolishness to God. I believe very strongly that God wants me to be baptized. I am excited abou this decision. I will be baptized next Sunday.
So begins another week. Things are changing with the business. Things are changing in my life. I feel profoundly grateful and excited to be alive.
posted by transfigure @ 10:00 PM
0 (backwash)
