Snapshot

Today the family, minus one of my two sisters, dined at Bennigan's for lunch to celebrate my mom's 60th birthday, which was Thursday. Though it's not surprising, it is unsettling when familial interactions become defined by the bitchiest element of the family, which in this case is my youngest sister. We as a group don't have much to talk about. I dole out little pieces of my life to generate conversation here and there, and we actually had a conversation about children, attachment, and abuse because I mentioned one of the children in my group yesterday at the Freedom Outreach event yesterday. Here is an example of my sister at work in the car on the way to Bennigan's:

Dad: "I was filling up the car with gas yesterday, and I overheard an interesting conversation. A man was asking for directions to the Elkton Walmart. Another guy gave him these directions that were incredibly complicated. He had the guy going through developments, and turning at this road and that road. Then a woman at the neighboring pump said, 'That's too tough. It's really easy. You just go down this road for a while, and you'll come to a big intersection. Make a right there, then a left at the next big intersection. You'll go through one more big intersection, and then you'll see the Walmart.'
My sister: "Wow, dad, that's an amazing statement on what you think of women."
My dad: "I just think it's interesting the different ways that men and women give directions, and I thought this conversation was a good example."
Silence. We're pulling into the parking lot.
My dad: "Here's a parking place."
My sister mumbles something unintelligible that begins, "You should...."
My dad hesitates at the parking place and drives around to the front of the restaurant and says that we should just get out here and he'll find a parking place.
As my mom, my sister, and I approach the restaurant entrance, my sister says, "Dad thinks women are so stupid. He's the one who can't follow directions."
Me: "D, I couldn't understand what you were saying either. I don't think Dad was saying anything bad about women."
Silence.

Later, back at the house, my mom makes some coffee. My parents like good, strong coffee, and really like their new coffee maker's setting that allows the hot water to spend more time passing through the grinds to get the most out of the grinds. My sister and I get some coffee, and I take a sip.

Me: "Did you use tap water or filtered water in this coffee."
Mom: "Tap water. How can you tell?"
Me: "I can tell by the taste. Tap water doesn't get the most out of the coffe. You'll enjoy your coffee more if you make it with filtered water."
Mom: "Really? I never noticed the difference."
My sister pats my shoulder, chuckles, and says, "Wow, Mike, you're just a well-oiled criticism machine."
Me: "Thanks, D."

This is the first thing I've said in a long time that could even be construed as pointlessly critical. My sister is constantly making sweeping judgmental statements abou tmy parents (my dad in particular), their decisions, and how she told them so. She cannot see this.

These are just two examples. I don't really care what my sister thinks anymore. I've tried to talk to her about this to no avail. She cannot see how judgmental she is, and how her attitude is not helpful to anyone in the family. My parents don't really listen to her either at this point. If she becomes extremely confrontational, they will not let her get away with false statements and accusations, but generally they just ignore her constant negative assessments of everything they say and do.

I feel bad making this unhappy post about my family. My family used to be so normal. We ate together, went to church together, watched movies together, had family devotions together. But at this point, I feel like the family has fallen apart. My parents are broken. My youngest sister is bipolar and is a different person from the one I knew a few years ago. My other sister is married and lives far away. I wish that I could help them more, but there is not much I can do, except try to be an encouragement to my parents and my sister. I'm hoping that as I become closer to God I will have more of God's love to share with them.